


Identity

by ichigokazuki



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Loss of Control, Mind Control, Unreliable Narrator, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-17 21:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19963861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigokazuki/pseuds/ichigokazuki
Summary: 10k struggles to come to terms with his newfound dilemma. He was bitten, just not by a zombie but the supposed savior of humanity, Murphy.He wasn't like Cassandra, he wasn't... They would understand, they had too.





	1. Changing

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, I wrote this for myself. I take what I like from canon and fill in the rest. But I figure why not share it with the internet.
> 
> I was always fascinated with the whole Murphy and his blends, especially how it connected with Cassandra and 10k. So this is the mostly final result of that.
> 
> Enjoy.

He didn’t want to stay.  
  


He didn’t.  
  


So why was he still here, standing beside Alvin Murphy of all the people left in this dying world? Being said man’s personal sniper? He should leave, leave to find Warren, Doc and Addy.  
  


Why didn’t he leave Murphy during the confrontation with Warren…?  
  


What was wrong with him?  
  


_Nothing’s wrong._  
  


They were his friends, his messed-up apocalypse family, not Murphy.  
  


Why couldn’t he get away? No matter which direction he ran, it always ended back with Murphy.  
  


_It’s not so bad._  
  


10k brought a shaky hand up to his face, feeling his cheek desperately trying to find a bitemark. One like Dr. Merch or any of Murphy’s drones. It would at least give 10k a reason for his behavior.  
  


Nothing, no marks.  
  


Supposedly a good thing.  
  


Then what was happening to him?  
  


Something was wrong… But at the same time, things felt, right?  
  


_Everything is fine._  
  


But how could he stand by and watch Murphy bite that sick little girl, Cassidy? Her life potentially stuck in Murphy’s controlling hands. She wouldn’t know any different.  
  


Life as a blend.  
  


_The alternative would have been death, forcing her Father to kill her revived body a few seconds later. A whole life unlived._  
  


Better to die then to be a slave, a slave to Murphy.  
  


10k closed his eyes, he could feel a headache coming on. He just wanted to sleep, take a nap to escape the world if only for a few hours. He felt like he was drowning in his own conflicting thoughts, arguing with himself.  
  


_Stop worrying._  
  


But 10k continued to sweep. His thoughts wandering back to the bridge, looking at the flowing water, the urge to climb onto the rail and just step off, to escape Murphy. It was small but still there, scratching.  
  


_Is it escape if part of you wants to stay, stay with Murphy?_  
  


But where were these thoughts and feelings coming from?  
  


Murphy hadn’t bitten him… he didn’t? 10k had no recollection of being bitten by Murphy. There was no signature mark on either cheek. No bitemarks on his arms or anywhere he could see.  
  


_Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen._  
  


The more 10k tried to dwell on the thought the more he had to concentrate. There was that period from where he was on the submarine to waking up in the raft to the call of Murphy. Had it or something happened during the time?  
  


_Does it matter?_  
  


Murphy had saved him. There was a very small chance that 10k could have escaped by himself but so small considering his state and injury. Murphy could have left him to drown.  
  


Did Murphy care for him, 10k in some twisted Murphy fashion? Or feel an obligation after travelling for over two years together?  
  


_Why else would he bother?_  
  


‘ _He saved you to use you, you’re just a weapon, a resource for Murphy to use and abuse? A one up over Warren,’_ 10k thought. _‘Probably better to be dead.’_  
  


_Would it be? To never have the possible chance to meet up with Doc, Warren or Addy again?_  
  


10k continued to push the broom, sweeping away the layers of grit and dust.  
  


_Don’t miss a spot._  
  


He pushed the broom harder, the wooden part of the head holding the bristles scrapped loudly against the concrete floor.  
  


10k hated Murphy, the man was the perfect example of an asshole and a coward, only ever concerning himself for his own pleasure, his own safety. Although 10k’s hate had started to seemingly dull as time wore on. He didn’t understand why, because Murphy is the one who turned Cassandra into his own personal obedient watchdog. Did he even care for her? One could argue Murphy did it to save her life…  
  


10k shook his head.  
  


But he, 10k had been the one to finally fully end her life… _no mercy her._ Murphy had forced his hand, she wouldn’t stop… 10k didn’t want to end her life, he had loved who she had been.  
  


Would all of Murphy’s bitten turn into blends like Cassandra? Dr. Merch and Will seemed normal and verbal enough. Which Cassandra had lacked.  
  


_How will you be?_  
  


_‘But I wasn’t bitten?’_  
  


“Shoot him,” Murphy had said, demanded 10k to do earlier that day.  
  


10k didn’t want to, if he’s being honest it felt mostly to spite Murphy, to piss the man off. He wasn’t with Murphy, no matter what the man said or thought himself. As Murphy’s demands increased, their shouting match began. Why did he want 10k to kill that guy so bad? _Why?_ What was Murphy trying to prove?  
  


10k refused, lost count of how many times he said ‘no’ repeatedly, he barely registered his arm up and gun pointed at the unfortunate man’s head.  
  


To 10k’s surprize and horror he heard the rapid clicks of empty shots.  
  


Murphy’s grin make 10k’s stomach drop. The man clapped 10k on the back before leaving the room, leaving 10k with a dead body and his own swirling thoughts.  
  


_‘This isn’t right.’_


	2. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k struggles to come to terms with his newfound dilemma. He was bitten, just not by a zombie but the supposed savior of humanity, Murphy.
> 
> He wasn't like Cassandra, he wasn't... They would understand, they had too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

10k felt defeated. He stumbled along trying to keep up with Will’s pace. His eyes were watery, blurring his already limited vision. 10k’s entire body ached, the gunshot wound had re-opened continuing to bleed. The soaked patch of blood on his dirty shirt continued to grow.  
  


Will finally slowed his pace, wrapping an arm around 10k’s form, helping the kid walk a bit more stable. It also felt more like a deterrent from trying to run again.  
  


Thinking back to the ‘Z’ that had been crawling after him made 10k cringe. Remembering his hands bound, trying and failing to scramble out of the ‘Zs’ spindly fingers. If he wasn’t so exhausted 10k might have felt embarrassed, humiliated to have practically begged for Will’s help.  
  


10k couldn’t distinguish between either wanting Will to kill the ‘Z’ to save his life or wanting Will to mercy him instead. 10k was leaning towards the latter but Will thought 10k was finally realizing Murphy was the answer.  
  


_Murphy is the answer._  
  


“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Murphy had said that and 10k grudgingly couldn’t help but mentally agree in some ways. Not that he’d ever mention that out loud to said man. Every time it seemed their group had made an inch of progress, something always foiled it and they fell back to square one.  
  


10k shook his head trying to clear his mudded thoughts, but instead it added to his dizziness and offered him no release. Murphy just had to go and bite him, messing with his thoughts and forced him to become a blend.  
  


The trek back to Murphy’s compound felt a hell of a lot longer to 10k then when he was running away from it. 10k’s feet managed find every root, rock and uneven portion of ground on the walk. Will pushed 10k on, also searching for that woman who had taken the vials. 10k was sure, that woman was long gone, the vials too.  
  


Merch’s vials, maybe they did override Murphy’s influence in their heads but 10k thought it might be causing his hallucinations. Or maybe it was from the horrid shape his body was in. Thinking back 10k did crash (jump) through a window into the back of a truck, only to jump off a bridge into rushing water. But only after taking a beating and finally being practically mauled by some ‘Z’s.’  
  


Even so, Will wouldn’t allow 10k to inject another vial and considering they had been stolen, the whole idea of them was null and void.  
  


It would be easier to give up, just accept being a blend, being with Murphy’s people. No fear sounded amazing to 10k at that moment.  
  


But every time those thoughts invaded 10k’s mind. Red would appear and his resolve would become anew. He knew she was probably dead, his heart ached at the thought of little wild 5k, but seeing them strengthened 10k enough to push through.  
  


As more time passed 10k saw Red less as Murphy’s presence became more dominant.  
  


“We should head back to Murphy, regroup,” Will said before eyeing 10k’s shaky form. “Get you checked over.”  
  


“M’fine,” 10k mumbled. “T-the shots.”  
  


“None of Murphy’s meds, it wasn’t intended for you. It’s making you paranoid.”  
  


“Is not. M’not paranoid.”  
  


A movement to his left caught 10k’s eyes, a bright flash of red among the greens and browns of the forest. “Red…” 10k slurred, stopping, causing Will to almost lose his footing on the uneven forest floor.  
  


His grip on 10k tightened, “Let’s not start this pointless game of tag again.”  
  


10k shook his head, his vision swarming with black spots but he still caught sight of Red further into the trees, she motioned for 10k to follow. He managed to twist out of Will’s grasp elbowing the man in the stomach. 10k staggered a bit before he could run following the flashes of red by stumbling around the trees.  
  


He could hear Will running after him but 10k barely spared Will a thought, his focus entirely on catching up with Red to escape. Then she was gone. 10k had lost her trail, he wildly looked in every direction for some sign, some flash of red.  
  


10k rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. Then Red appeared beside him. “Turn around.”  
  


“What- “A sudden weight hit 10k’s back, arms encircled his torso before both bodies hit the ground. 10k struggled to get free, scratching and kicking before a hard knock to the side of his head had his arms and legs go limp as the fight left his body.  
  


Blearily eyed, he could make out Will’s form and see his arm swing down at 10k’s head again.  
  


_‘Must be payback for earlier,’_ 10k thought before finally succumbing to the darkness.  
  



	3. Domestication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 10k struggles to come to terms with his newfound dilemma. He was bitten, just not by a zombie but the supposed savior of humanity, Murphy.
> 
> He wasn't like Cassandra, he wasn't... They would understand, they had too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

A flair of disappointment would hit if 10k’s thoughts wandered to Dr. Merch. It didn’t help when people would whisper about her lack of faith in Murphy’s new order so often. How she deserved her fate.  
  


She killed herself leaving no one to combat against Murphy’s control, at least not in the immediate area. Everyone in Murphy’s new community had no reason to oppose him, as in their eyes, he kept everyone safe.  
  


No more injections to ward off Murphy’s control or influence. It felt useless to try and fight Murphy’s orders. 10k felt numb to the world. He couldn’t _really_ tell the different between what he wanted and what Murphy wanted.  
  


_Do you even want to disobey?_   
  


A small part of 10k, he’s tucked away to wait out, hoping for Doc, Addy and Warren to show up and knock Murphy off his throne. 10k worried about how that part was getting smaller each day and wondered if anything would be left of 10k to rescue.  
  


_Do you really want to be rescued?_   
  


More willing people show up everyday to join the growing community as word of Murphy’s free vaccine spread throughout the nearby areas. No fear and freedom from the pursue of ‘Zs’ was to good for people to pass up.  
  


_Can you blame them?_   
  


The last week had been spent getting Murphy’s home base up to his standards, hence mostly cleaning and scavenging for furniture and equipment to 10k’s despair. The barricade around the building had been extended, including more buildings and areas to accommodate the growing population.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


10k spent the first few days back at Murphy’s town in and out of consciousness. He experienced more hallucinations, 10k could only describe it as two entities fighting for dominance. Cold chills wrecked his fevered body, some of the community thought he would die. Days later, Red no longer appeared and 10k could finally stay activity awake for hours at a time.  
  


He suspected that his body and mind included were suffering from withdrawals, either from Murphy’s control or the injections Dr. Merch had created, maybe both.  
  


_At least you have your own room._   
  


During those early days, Murphy had spent a good deal of time moping around in the make shift lab with Merch’s corpse. _‘Creepy’_ in 10k’s opinion. The man had some sort of epiphany during that time and he seemed to gain a vast amount of knowledge. It scared 10k.  
  


The days where 10k was left alone without supervision, He spent those periods up on the roof of the building, the bell tower or sometimes sitting on the zombie mote’s wooden fence. Feet dangling in with the ‘Zs.’ It felt surreal to 10k that they paid him no mind, just continued their pointless march around the border of the fence. If there was a new batch of people camping outside the fence waiting to be accepted into the community, the ‘Zs’ would gather at that far portion of the fence.  
  


10k had been ordered by Murphy to remain inside the compound unless otherwise directed by said man. He didn’t trust 10k.  
  


The vaccine Murphy had completed had been distributed among the first and second circles of his congregation. How Murphy did it without Dr. Merch? 10k didn’t want to dwell on how, he figured it was probably far from safe or sane.  
  


The area started to seem more like a town as the community continued to grow from a tent village.  
  


Since ‘Zs’ posed no real threat to most the people in the area, they were herded into the mote instead of be ‘merced.’ They were a barrier; a sort of defense to protect Murphy’s town from those still human such as Warren’s group or the Red Hand.  
  


Although when 10k could get out of the compound to accompany Will and his men on hunts or scouting missions, he would kill a few ‘Z’s’ in between captures. Murphy didn’t seem to mind to much if they were considered defective.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


10k sat up on the newly constructed guard tower. The lookout could only hold a handful of people comfortably, although usually they only had one person stationed there. It was 10k’s turn and it was indescribably boring.  
  


Earlier Murphy had given him a container of fresh strawberries, “’Cause you’re vanishing into nothing, kid.” 10k wanted to spit in Murphy’s smiling face, the man being kind was extremely weird and probably just hoping to convert him. But 10k just took the container with a nod.  
  


A perk of being in a permanent settlement was fresh food, it was inwardly appreciated by 10k.  
  


10k dropped the leftover strawberry tops onto the ‘Z’s’ heads below trying to pass the time. It was a painfully slow day, 10k couldn’t even mercy the ‘Z’s’ for fun, only potential enemies like Ender’s or Red Hand if they got to close. They never even appeared near the compound.  
  


“Bored to death yet, kid?”  
  


10k looked over the ledge to see Christopher, one of the second group to be vaccinated. A relatively short but broad shouldered man with the full-on apocalypse look with shaggy hair and a growing beard.  
  


“M’not a kid,” grumbled 10k. He really tried to steer clear of having to interact with any other people in the compound. It made him sick seeing all those happy people, happy to be with Murphy. They all had a choice and 10k was never given that.  
  


Christopher chuckled. “You’re off duty. Murphy wants you inside, they’re meeting in the main room.”  
  


_‘Of course, he does,’_ 10k thought before climbing down the ladder. He wished he could escape again but every time he tried to go against a direct order, it made him sick to the point of passing out, messed with all his senses.  
  


As he passed Christopher, said man clapped 10k on the shoulder. “Smile, it would do you some good.”  
  


10k shrugged Christopher’s hand off before walking a few feet away. Just as Christopher started to climb the ladder, 10k fired a strawberry at the man’s smiling face. At least 10k still had his slingshot.  
  


Christopher wiped the strawberry juice from his face. “Very good at convincing me you aren’t still just a kid!”  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


_‘What does he want now?’_ 10k thought hoisting his rifle onto his back while walking through the make-shift streets of the town. He was met with a cheerful chorus of ‘hello’s’ from the residents. Outside the initial fence, those who hadn’t yet been accepted or vaccinated stares made 10k uneasy.  
  


Despite 10k being generally uncomfortable and angry at his predicament, the whole settlement that was blooming and happy was hard to ignore.  
  


“10k…” Will’s daughter Cassidy sang running up the current path 10k was on. She was carrying that blue ball. Cassidy took it nearly everywhere she went, a welcome home gift from Murphy when her family had followed them that first day. “Work?”  
  


“Boring,” 10k replied.  
  


Cassidy just smiled. She wasn’t a big talker, more of an observer. 10k could appreciate that, being that kind of person himself. The little girl took his hand guiding him through the daily commotion. “Do you know what Murphy wants me for?”  
  


She put her finger to her lips. “Secret!” She giggled tugging on 10k’s hand pulling him to speed up. 10k sighed. Cassidy was an adorable little girl but she’s was Murphy’s little deviant too. She told him everything. That was one of the many problems with this town, there were no secrets, no personal thoughts. Murphy knew everything, nothing would go unnoticed.  
  


The museum of progress used to feel almost over-whelming when they first arrived, a prison but as the days passed it felt more like a haven. It was disturbing to know how much he, 10k was changing. How he knew he was changing but he couldn’t do anything.  
  


10k thought of the building as Murphy’s castle. _‘He has a throne room.’_ The building had come a long way since the beginning when they arrived. The rooms cleared and cleaned, scavenged furniture’s and accessories brought in. Rooms now had a purpose, such as the throne room, the lab, and bedrooms.  
  


Lucy’s room was an ongoing project. Murphy wanted it to be perfect for when she was finally brought home. Will’s wife, Hope took a special interest in modifying the room. She even started to organize Murphy a baby shower.  
  


Speaking of Hope, she greeted the pair of assumed children at the front door. Cassidy hugged her Mother before skipping off. Hope motioned for 10k to follow her to the great hall.  
  


It seemed that almost the entire first circle of Murphy’s people had gathered together. Murphy stood tall beside his throne, hands clasped behind his back. He paced back and forth as he talked about the town’s progress.  
  


10k tried to block out most of the speech since he didn’t care. He couldn’t have fallen asleep standing up if will hadn’t elbowed him into paying attention. 10k shuffled a bit away from Will and rolled his eyes, none of what Murphy talked about pertained to him. Getting the power up and running for the town didn’t matter to 10k.  
  


He just wanted out, right? 10k felt like his will was slipping.  
  


_Do you really want out?_   
  


“A controlling group, led by a woman called Warren…”  
  


10k’s head shot up at the mention of Warren’s name. As the sudden on slot of emotion welled up inside him, 10k’s eyes met the intense stare of Murphy.  
  


_Calm._   
  


_Calm down._   
  


_You don’t care._   
  


10k’s tightened muscles relaxed and he focussed in on Murphy’s speech.  
  


“They want to stop us, stop us from reaching our goals of a safe, united community. One without fear or hatred. Our era crumbled beneath their righteous feet.”  
  


“How do you know they are coming for us?” The new mechanic, a girl called Nix asked. She had been vaccinated in the latest group to arrive.  
  


“10k and I had travelled, reluctantly with them in the past. Before we had the chance to separate and start life anew here. Being around those people with Warren always ended in disaster. Warren still believes in the old world, which I believe no longer applies in these days,” Murphy explained. “Look at what we’ve built! We are so close to having the power back on, lights, running water is just a few short days away. We’ve come together and more then survived, we are flourishing.” Murphy’s smile dropped from his face, “I have no doubt she will come here to destroy what we have.”  
  


Michael stepped forward. “On top of this, the Red Hand has been attacking our recruitment vehicles. We’ve speculated this Warren’s group is in the area possibly with the Red Hand.”  
  


Murphy turned to Nix. Everyone standing in line around the throne area stood rigid waiting for orders. “Start a training regiment for all residents. I want us to be ready for any resistance whether it’s just the Red Hand, just Warren or both. We have earned our right to live in peace. I won’t have us living in fear no more.”  
  


Nix nodded. 10k half-expected her to give Murphy a salute before marching off.  
  


Murphy waved his hand towards the exit. “Everyone’s dismissed.”  
  


Most people left say for a handful of those on guard patrol, Will and 10k.  
  


Murphy had taken to standing by the larger windows overlooking the front of the building. 10k walked up to stand beside him. Questions burned in 10k’s mind.  
  


_‘Why did you do this to me?’_   
  


_‘Is this all a game to you?’_   
  


_‘What are you planning?’_   
  


So many questions he wanted to scream at Murphy and demands answers. But only one 10k asked out loud. “What are you going to do to Warren, Doc and Addy?”  
  


“Whatever it takes to keep this place, our people safe.”  
  


“You mean killing them.”  
  


“I already gave Warren her chance. You’re with me now, remember kid?” Murphy turned and stared hard at 10k.  
  


_You’re here now._   
  


10k struggled for words. He wanted to scream no, wanted to run away, but replied, “Yes… but…” The words were trapped, he couldn’t continue.  
  


Murphy seemed to take pity on 10k. “They will be give the choice to join or leave. If they don’t abide. I will do what is necessary.”  
  


10k turned away from Murphy to stare outside. He felt uneasy almost numb. He couldn’t fault Murphy for wanting to protect himself and his people.  
  


_‘He’s still not a good person…’_   
  


He did give Warren the choice, Murphy just wanted to live in peace. _He was really a prisoner the entire time…_ But they were 10k’s friends, family even. 10k shook his head, trying to clear out his thoughts.  
  


Murphy dropped his hand to 10k’s shoulder giving it a tight squeeze. “Why don’t you join today’s ‘Z’ hunt. I’ll tell Will to let you mercy every 5th ‘Z’ you find.”  
  


10k nodded before looking at Murphy. “Every 2nd ‘Z’” _‘Small victories.’_  
  


The man chuckled. “All right, kid. Go wild. Be back by dark and listen to Will.”  
  


10k left with Will. He found out Michael would be joining them with his creepy leashed ‘Z’ children to his despair. He hadn’t been able to count his kills since he woke up on the raft. 10k felt off without his original goal. It had been such a big part of himself, should he even have the name 10k?  
  


But at that moment, 10k’s thoughts were filled with worry about Doc, Addy and Warren. 10k was anxious to see them again, alive and well, especially Doc. But would they understand? He wasn’t like Cassandra. He wasn’t.  
  


They had to understand. They just had to.  
  



	4. Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family reunions suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

Everything was starting to feel domestic. Domestic in the apocalypse was a weird thing. 10k fell into a routine, there were few surprizes.  
  


10k could eat meat again without getting sick or fear the chance of being infected. No more unpleasant fire roasted grasshoppers or any bugs. It was uncomfortable when Murphy’s group sat down for their first wholesome meal and indulged in BBQ steaks of all things.  
  


It was interesting. Murphy had people gather together for meals.10k found it awkward to have to sit together as if they were some happy dysfunctional family. To hear things like ‘pass the salt’ was cringe worthy in 10k’s mind. Conversation wasn’t easy to come by either, not that it ever was with 10k. He was even seated in between Murphy and Will, still under supervision.  
  


Overtime he could begin relaxing, able to trade stories of past ‘Z’ kills with others. 10k was internally smug with his record for most ‘Z’ kills, seeing as nobody else could pinpoint a number.  
  


After the last ‘Z’ hunting party where 10k could kill a fair number of ‘Zs’. he felt lighter. The worry for his old group had started to fade, nothing more then a dull feeling in the back of his mind. Murphy kept him busy, going from task to task. Lately it was helping Will and Nix train residents in becoming better shots and to be more resourceful.  
  


More of their recruitment vehicles were being found tagged by the Red Hand and the operators killed. But having the power back on was still Murphy’s top priority, he argued that in the long run having the power would strengthen the town’s defenses.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


The first time he saw them again 10k thought he might die of oxygen deprivation, the air felt trapped in his lungs, he was choking until Murphy came by and slapped him on the back.  
  


“Look alive. It’s our family reunion.”  
  


10k grimaced. He couldn’t deny the feeling of happiness and relief, being able to see them, Addy, Doc and Warren. To know they had survived. But the more 10k thought about it, even if Murphy made good on his promise of offering a truce. 10k doubted Warren would even agree.  
  


_You can’t leave._  
  


10k couldn’t leave, the physical and mental strain would drive him crazy. “They won’t listen,” 10k finally said.  
  


Murphy sighed, he stopped and straightened up 10k’s jacket. “I can’t see Warren standing down either, that’s not who she is, but we’ll just have to see. Your job is to keep point and keep us safe, got it?”  
  


10k nodded.  
  


They stood in semi-neutral territory, the bridge 10k had jumped off in earlier weeks. No where for either group to lay in wait for an ambush.  
  


Warren had gained the favour of the Red Hand. They followed her lead. One person who stood out was an Asian woman walking next to Warren. Doc and Addy weren’t to far behind.  
  


10k stood by Murphy, tried to keep his expression as blank as he could. Part of 10k just wanted Warren to agree, just accept Murphy’s way of life, know that it wasn’t that bad. But he knew that she wouldn’t as Murphy said, that’s not who Warren was.  
  


_That wasn’t who you were and look at you now._  
  


“Roberta Warren, a pleasure as always,” Murphy said. “I’ve brought my associates, you do remember 10k, yes?”  
  


“Murphy…” Warren started. She was furious, Warren took a moment to close her eyes and take a breath. “You bite 10k?”  
  


“A necessary evil at the time, I assure you,” replied Murphy waving it off. “He’s alive, isn’t he?”  
  


Will knocked shoulders with 10k. “Breathe, stay focussed.”  
  


10k sucked in a shallow breath.  
  


“But let’s not dwell on past events. We are here to talk business, discuss the future, aren’t we?”  
  


“We are,” stated Warren but her eyes kept flickering back to 10k. She hadn’t been expecting 10k to be there, beside Murphy. It threw her game off just a bit.  
  


Murphy’s smile grew impossibly bigger. “My answer is no as it has always been, not that you people ever cared to listen. No one here has been forced to take my vaccine or join my town.”  
  


“We want to live without your interference,” Will added. “In peace.”  
  


“You know I can’t do that. If you would just work with us, with Sun Mei’s help. We could create a vaccine, a cure for everyone without side effects,” explained Warren. “It will work.”  
  


Murphy sighed. “How many times have we tried that now? It ended in literal disaster every single damn time.”  
  


“So that’s it?” asked Warren. “You’ve given up on a normal human race? You just want everyone to see you as God, turn everyone into blends?”  
  


Murphy didn’t back down. “These people chose to become blends, chose safety and community. I’m not your science experiment, been there, experienced that. I’m done. It gets old Roberta.”  
  


“It would be virtually painful, stress free,” Sun Mei tried to explain. “You could save so many people around the world.”  
  


“Yes, and the world’s been so accommodating for me.”  
  


It was a circle of endless arguing, there would be no peaceful resolution between Warren and Murphy. The whole meeting was really a sham. 10k had overheard it was Sun Mei who pushed Warren to try and make nice with Murphy. Warren was probably really to storm the town’s front gate. Murphy agreed just to show off his blended army.  
  


10k was getting stiff and bored from standing and listening to Warren and Murphy. If he’s honest, 10k would rather be ‘Z’ hunting for the mote at this point. Routine made things much easier, it was mindless work left little time to overthink things.  
  


10k finally tore his gaze away from the bickering couple and his eyes met Doc. It was like being stabbed in the gut. Doc’s face held so much worry, all of it directed at 10k. 10k wanted to look away, but couldn’t. he had no words for Doc, nothing to reassure the man.  
  


Doc took a few steps towards 10k, hands held up in peace. “Kid… I’m glad your alive. I knew you had to have survived somehow.”  
  


The kid was torn, part of him, that part dedicated to Murphy, to the cause, if anything wanted to be free of the awkward situation, run back to town, hide away in his room from all these conflicted feelings. But another part just wanted to run into Doc’s arms like a small child.  
  


But Doc was to close, to close to Murphy. 10k shook his head, grip tightening in on rifle.  
  


_‘Threat.’_  
  


_He’s to close._  
  


“I’d take a step back there, Doc. 10k’s not to fond of people getting close,” Murphy said as 10k’s muscles tensed, he looked to Murphy and then back to Doc.  
  


Murphy had a predatory smirk stretched across his face.  
  


Doc stopped in his tracks, before stepping back in line with Warren. “And whose fault is that?”  
  


Murphy shrugged. “I can see this little gathering is going nowhere as I predicted. How about we cut it short?”  
  


“That’s because you won’t see reason. You’re insane,” Addy started. 10k took notice of her new z-whacker, it sparked.  
  


Murphy interrupted Addy. “I could say the same thing about you.”  
  


“I’m not the one creating a brainwashed army of part-zombie people,” Addy said.  
  


The side of the bridge where Warren and the Red Hand stood was slowly being overrun with ‘Zs’ attracted by the noise.  
  


Addy twirled her bat, “Puppies and kittens coming our way.”  
  


“Thanks to a certain someone I’m sure.” Warren looked to Murphy.  
  


Murphy’s side had already packed into their trucks. “This is goodbye Warren, it was an enlightening experience to say the least. I do hope we don’t meet again. Consider this your last warning.”  
  


“Murphy wait!” Warren stepped foreword, hand going for her gun.  
  


_Threat._  
  


10k stood in front of Murphy allowing the man to get into their truck. 10k aimed his rifle at Warren. Did he want to shoot Warren? Why couldn’t she just stay back? Why couldn’t he just stop?  
  


“10k, fight it!” Warren said as she put her hands up. 10k followed her movement. “I know this isn’t you. This isn’t what you want.”  
  


_How would she know what you want?_  
  


_She doesn’t know anything about you._  
  


“I’m with Murphy,” 10k said.  
  


“Those aren’t your words, kid,” Doc stated.  
  


The ‘Zs’ were piling on the bridge in waves. Red Hand soldiers started to fire shots. Murphy and his blends had completely packed up. Nix took the driver’s seat, Will tugged 10k into the back of the van.  
  


Murphy blew a kiss Warren’s way before they took off back to the town. 10k’s heart ached as he heard the fighting and guns going off. 10k looked out the back window, Doc’s eyes met his. 10k felt the tears building up.  
  


_You shouldn’t cry._  
  


“What’s your plan, Mr. Murphy?” Nix asked.  
  


“We knew this day would come. Warren will not stop. Our defenses will need strengthening, more power, more ‘Zs’,” Murphy replied. “We’ll discuss more at home.”  
  


“10k seems pretty shaky back there,” Nix said switching topics.  
  


“I’m fine,” said 10k sinking back into the seat cushions of the van.  
  


“Kid will pull through, won’t you 10k? Family reunions are always stressful,” Murphy said turning back to stare at 10k. “I need a verbal answer.”  
  


“Yes,” grumbled 10k before turning away to stare out the door’s window. He tried to blink away the tears before anyone caught on.  
  


He felt torn, pulled in two wildly different directions, none of his choosing. What would happen next?  
  



	5. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your own thoughts turned against you, can be your worse enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I thought I'd post one chapter a day...  
> Enjoy.

10k stood in front of a broken section of the initial fence. It was clear that someone had tried to break in by cutting the chain links. 10k could see the fresh blood splattered across the ground. Said person failed, instead became lunch to the ‘Zs.’  
  


_‘Should tell Murphy…’_  
  


_‘Or leave?’_  
  


He put one foot in front of the other, slowly inching towards the opening in the fence. 10k took his time, peeling the cut-out part back creating a wider opening, big enough for 10k to climb through.  
  


Looking back behind him, 10k honestly expected Will to appear and drag him back to Murphy. But there was no one. He hadn’t been ordered to stay inside the compound in the past few hours, he could push through the control. 10k stumbled through the opening, the scraping of the broken chain link barely bothering him.  
  


He looked down at his feet, 10k was outside of the compound, unsupervised with only a vague feeling of being uncomfortable. He could almost laugh, but instead he ran.  
  


_Haven’t you considered how easy this was? It’s probably a test, wouldn’t you agree?_  
  


10k pushed those thoughts away, focussing on putting as much distance between Murphy and himself.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


She was dead. That woman who’d stolen Merch’s vials of vaccine; she was torn apart from, body parts strewn across the immediate area. The injections no where to be found. Someone else had gotten to them first, if 10k couldn’t have them, he hoped it had been Doc or Warren.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


_Your time is just about over…_  
  


_‘What?’_  
  


Everything hurt, it started from the back of his head before consuming the rest of his mind. The pain went down his spine before spreading throughout his body. It felt like hundreds of thousands of small stabbing sensations, like he was being punished.  
  


_Turn back 10k, you’ve gone far enough._  
  


He fell to his hands and knees, tears pricked his eyes. He didn’t want to go back, 10k just wanted to be free, to have a choice, be left alone.  
  


_‘Should have stayed by myself, shouldn’t have taken up on Doc’s offer back then.’_  
  


Taking a deep breath, 10k slowly climbed back onto his feet. The world was spinning, focussing on anything seemed impossible, the pain wouldn’t let up.  
  


_‘One foot at a time, just… have to keep moving.’_  
  


_Go back home… it will stop, just submit._  
  


“I can’t…”  
  


_You can, why fight? Why go back to_ **them**? After all this, they won’t trust you.  
  


_They never trusted Cassandra. Never gave her a chance, she was shunned, they barely blinked at her death._  
  


_You’re in the same boat now._  
  


“No… stop.” 10k tried to trudge forward, one dragged step at a time. Ignoring the dark thoughts proved to be a useless endeavor. They were loud, biting, they didn’t feel like his own thoughts.  
  


_Let’s just give in, let’s stop the pain._  
  


“Pain means I’m alive.”  
  


It was hard to breath, he was drenched in sweat, clothes becoming like a second skin. ‘Zs’ stopped walking, staring at 10k yet making no effort to go after him.  
  


_You’re being watched._  
  


A stray thought floated through 10k’s mind, how far did Murphy’s influence go?  
  


_Farther then you could run._  
  


Painful memories stirred in 10k’s mind, one by one filtering through the forefront of his thoughts. Each memory a stabbing reminder of what he wished he could have forgotten, all tagged with ugly emotions like guilt or hate.  
  


_‘His Mother, falling sick… hospitals… tests after tests… gone within six months.’_  
  


_‘The world ending… forced to leave home…’_  
  


_‘His Pa bitten… struggling to mercy-to kill his own father…’_  
  


_‘Left alone…’_  
  


_‘Cassandra being bitten…’_  
  


_‘Losing 5k.’_  
  


_‘Watching Red going off to her death because of him.’_  
  


_‘Killing Cassandra.’_  
  


_‘Being shot, thinking he was going finally kick the bucket.’_  
  


_‘Finding out he was bitten.’_  
  


_‘Struggling full of hallucinations.’_  
  


10k sank to the ground, curling into himself in the grass close to the edge of a road. It was to much, his body hurt, his mind was traitorous. “I don’t want to remember…”  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


10k woke up in the passenger seat of a truck, they were driving. His vision cleared to see Will in the driver’s seat. He looked less then pleased. Will was his unofficial babysitter.  
  


“You didn’t make it to far, barely a few miles from home, kid.”  
  


He chose not to respond, he had a headache but the sharp stabbing pains had subsided. His demons from the past were also gone, locked back up in his subconscious.  
  


“We have more important things to do then cater to your tantrums,” Will continued. “You have a part your expected to fill.”  
  


“Don’t want to…”  
  


“Not your choice. Think of the bigger picture. You could be happy if you just let yourself. Why not let go and stop fighting it? Its doing yourself no favours.”  
  


10k closed his eyes turning away from Will, he didn’t want to talk.  
  


_Why are your hurting yourself?_  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


“I’m telling you Warren, this bag right here.” Doc held up a carrier bag for Warren to see. “It’s 10k’s sachet.”  
  


Warren raised an eyebrow. “How do you know? For certain, not just some wild idea to make yourself feel better.”  
  


“It went with him on the sub, wasn’t with him the other day, now it’s here, just happens to be on route to Spokane where we found Murphy? It means either he left it here or lost it when trying to escape.”  
  


“I think you want to believe this, but Doc you’re grasping at straws.”  
  


“Look at this.” Doc pulled out a handful of injections.  
  


“Drugs?” asked Warren.  
  


Sun Mei reached out and took one. “I’ll find out.”  
  



	6. Intergration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life could finally be better...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

They had power, the lights were finally on. It had been three days and the novelty of having a hot shower had not warn off yet for the residents. It was the simple things in life that one really missed when taken away.  
  


It seemed like Warren had given up as the days passed without any incidents, the patrols hadn’t seen any members of the Red Hand nearby the compound. Murphy wasn’t taking any chances, 10k knew he wasn’t stupid. He had more people on guard, more patrols and the outer fence was now electrified with barbed wire twisted around the top of said fence.  
  


Michael no longer sent out recruitment vehicles. Murphy had everyone stay close to the compound. All efforts were directed at keeping what they had, their homes, beliefs and community. If people happened upon their community, they were quickly vaccinated and integrated into the town, no one was turned away.  
  


The more people, the better chance at survival.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


10k had managed to sneak out of the latest progress meeting Murphy held in the great room. To 10k it was mostly exaggerated talks of the current progress and possible threats such as Warren, an ever-potential ticking bomb hanging over their heads. He quickly made his way out of the old museum ad walked his way to the gardens.  
  


_‘Not that hiding would do any good if Murphy really wanted to find me.’_  
  


Other residents were mindlessly working in the make-shift fields, pulling weeds and other smaller tasks. 10k sat down on a nearby empty crate, he flipped over and just closed his eyes, enjoying the peaceful environment. His mind going over his personal meeting with Murphy he had earlier that day, his uninjured hand tugging softly on the bandana Murphy had wrapped around his left.  
  


_‘At least the confinement is over.’_  
  


Losing yourself was difficult, losing yourself and unable to control your own thoughts and feelings, unable to do anything to save yourself. It had been impossible to accept, but it couldn’t be stopped. Murphy couldn’t be stopped.  
  


_It’s okay now, everything is falling into place._  
  


He could feel it, integration was closing in. He wasn’t truly 10k anymore, just like before, he wasn’t Tommy anymore.  
  


Before the bite, he could easily say without a single thread of doubt he hated Murphy, would have killed him if the world’s hope wasn’t the man himself. But now that hate was gone, excuses and reasoning filling his head for all the actions Murphy had done, that before had added to the boy’s hate.  
  


In the beginning, he had been able to resist, if anything he could still resist in his thoughts but he can’t anymore-no- he doesn’t want to anymore.  
  


_We have a vision._  
  


He could see he vision of the future Murphy wants to build for the blends. A place where everyone is included without the precious’s world’s fear, judgement and hate.  
  


_It’s beautiful._  
  


10k couldn’t see it, but Thomas, he could see the future that they were building. His name was Thomas, he was nineteen, a self-taught sniper and part of Murphy’s inner circle.  
  


Murphy wanted a soldier, Thomas was created to become that soldier. He needed a purpose to continue fighting, to live. 10,000 ‘Z’ kills use to be his purpose, but 10k lost that, 10k was lost. Murphy gave him a new purpose, a new name, Thomas was his life.  
  


Thomas would defend Murphy, he would keep the mission alive, kill anyone who got in the way, anyone who tried to stop them. Old relationships weren’t part of the mission.  
  


The community ran like a well-oiled machine, everyone had their place, fights rarely broke out. The collective mindset, linked by Murphy certainly helped. When Thomas was still 10k, he was outcast, afraid to leave the edge, never fully embracing the community. He’s an active member now but he wouldn’t call anyone a friend. Friends weren’t important to the mission.  
  


Until Murphy introduced Thomas to a set of apparent twins, Seth and Elie, both relatively close in age with Thomas. They were new to the community, probably from the latest batch Will had vaccinated that morning. The twins came alone, not part of any group. For being twins or even siblings, they couldn’t be more different. Seth was on the shorter side, he had black choppy hair, highlighted fire engine red and cat-like green eyes. Where Seth was sadistic and playful, Elie was respectful and laidback. She was taller then her brother with brunette hair cut short and blue eyes.  
  


The twins were strong-willed, easily matching Thomas’s pace whether for scouting or fighting. It was nice. Elie kept her brother reined in, as Seth seemed to thrive on killing, always going overboard leading to unrecognizable corpses. If it wasn’t the apocalypse, it would have been disturbing.  
  


“So, you’ve been with Murphy since the start?” Elie asked. She of all things was weaving friendship bracelets after finding the colourful fabric floss in one of their latest supply runs.  
  


The older teenagers were up in the guard tower, it was a sun filled day, no clouds could be seen in any direction. They were always stationed together.  
  


“Not exactly, been around two years now,” Thomas answered. “Just you and Seth?”  
  


“We’ve always been together even before, no parents, no family, no nothing, just Seth and I,” said Elie. “Tried being in groups when it first started you know? But they never lasted long, people kept dying, whether from ‘Zs’ or other people. No where was safe and we found, more people just meant more danger. Just a terrible endless cycle, but now where here.”  
  


“So far so good,” Seth chimed in. “Everyone’s a bit more durable here.”  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


It has come up in conversation before, when they were ‘Z’ hunting, how Thomas use to count his ‘Z’ kills when he was still 10k. That far off goal of 10,000 kills, but once bitten by Murphy he had stopped.  
  


“First off,” Seth started. “You don’t seem like a Jeff and if it were me, I’d count regular human kills, at least human ones should be worth more points. Humans are unpredictable so it would be a tougher kill.”  
  


The small group had rounded up a dozen or so ‘Zs’ that day, deciding to rest for a bit after scoping out the area, they made camp under the canopy of a few large trees. The ‘Zs’ staying close by.  
  


Thomas laughed softly. “It doesn’t matter, human kills wouldn’t be accurate, I don’t remember how many.”  
  


“Could just estimate and go from there?” Elie added before shrugging. “If Murphy’s successful, then one day there won’t be any more regular humans, everyone will be a blend or dead.”  
  


_‘I wonder why they don’t say Mr. Murphy like the rest?’_  
  


_You don’t say Mr. Murphy either. Maybe they are more like you? Better quality friends eh?_  
  


“Then all the stupid ‘Zs’ will be gone,” Seth said flopping on the ground next to where Thomas was sitting. “Damn, life will be boring again.”  
  


Thomas gave Seth a small grin, ruffing his hair. “Somebody will always fight back.” Thomas’s mind wandering back to his old group, he ignored the uncomfortable feeling associated with them. “There will always be the mission, always a group trying to stop us, stop Murphy.”  
  


“But they’ll always fail if were around. I mean were pretty awesome if I do say so myself,” Seth added as Elie nodded in agreement.  
  


Thomas couldn’t stop his smile. Maybe having friends helped the mission and made his life a little more enjoyable. He decided Seth and Elie were up there on his list of priorities to protect with Murphy. They were his new family.  
  


_Should thank Murphy later for introducing the twins in your life, they really made life more bearable…_  
  


“So how angry do you think Will is?” asked Elie. “Not that I keep the time or anything, but he probably expected us back a few hours ago?”  
  


“You really put a damper on things bringing up his name,” said Seth. “Plus, you gotta agree, going into that bowling alley and knocking down ‘Zs’ in the lanes was fun!”  
  


“I’m not saying it wasn’t,” replied Elie, “I’m just stating facts. You’re just sour that Thomas scored more points.”  
  


“Whatever.”  
  


“It’s a good point though, we should head back,” Thomas said. “We could go back there tomorrow though. You could try and get your dignity back for losing so hard.”  
  



	7. Rescuing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it really rescuing if said person doesn't want to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

His wrists were bound, the skin rubbed raw, bleeding from the makeshift cuffs Warren had used. Thomas sat stiffly in the chair he had been forced into. Warren had gotten some zip ties somehow that were long enough to act as restraints for both for hands and feet. The more he struggled, the more the plastic bit into his skin.  
  


_‘Just great.’_   
  


Thomas’s disappointed in himself, he got captured by the enemy, rescued if you asked any of the people who kidnapped him. He got separated from the twins during a routine scouting mission when they ran across bother the Warren and Red Hand leading Thomas into grasp of Warren’s group.  
  


_Red Hand is becoming an increasingly annoying problem. What did Warren do to gain their favour?_   
  


_Remember your training, do not give in to her or any of their recycled ramblings._   
  


Warren’s seemed to be holding up in an abandoned factory, it couldn’t be to far off from Murphy’s town, Thomas wasn’t knocked out and it didn’t take more then possibly 45 minutes from where they had been scouting. Warren had blindfolded him, so he wasn’t able to gain an exact location.  
  


_We will find you._   
  


“I don’t need rescuing,” Thomas had tried to explain to deaf ears. “I’m happy where I am.”  
  


“Yes, you do kid. We need to get the Murphy mojo out of your head,” Doc said.  
  


The whole old gang aside from those dead were there except Addy for whatever reason. Thomas didn’t care, he just wanted to escape.  
  


Thomas rolled his eyes at Doc, “I don’t want to be here, if you really cared you’d let me go. I need to go back.”  
  


_‘Get back to Murphy, Seth and Elie.’_   
  


_At least your getting some idea of Warren’s base of operations and her standing in this pointless war._   
  


Warren stood in front of him, she kneeled enough to grab his chin, forcing Thomas to look in her eyes. “You don’t want to? Or Murphy doesn’t want you to? Can’t tell the difference, can you? Between yourself and Murphy?” She released Thomas, stepping away to talk with Sun Mei. “Try the new vaccine on him, the one you gave to Hector to stop him from turning”  
  


Sun Mei shook her head pulling the samples she had out of Warren’s reach. “It’s to risky. He’s had to many doses of who knows what. It could kill him. I won’t do it.”  
  


“We don’t have time for this,” Warren said, “We need information. We need 10k, not this… I’ll do it myself, give me the shot.”  
  


“Whoa…” Doc stepped in. “We aren’t risking the kid’s life. Let’s find another way, the plan is to save 10k, not kill him.”  
  


Warren took a deep breath. “Give him the regular dose of Merch’s injection then. We know that it works if only for a little while.”  
  


Sun Mei looked torn, not wanting to be part of putting a potential death sentence on the kid before she sighed, handing Warren one of the last few of Merch’s injections.  
  


Warren walked back over to Thomas before Doc stopped her and took the vaccine. “I’ll do it, being his doctor and all.” He tried to give Warren a supportive smile.  
  


Thomas tried to shuffle back in his restraints as Doc moved closer to him with the injection. “I don’t want it.”  
  


“It will bring you back to us, 10k,” Doc tried to explain. “You aren’t yourself kid. You’ll thank me later, I promise.”  
  


Thomas shook his head, a twisted grin on his face. “I won’t.”  
  


It pained Doc to go against 10k’s wishes but he focussed on the fact 10k wasn’t in control of his thoughts or actions, being a puppet to Murphy’s whims. “Sorry, kid.” Doc cradled Thomas’s head to cease the boy’s struggling as he injected the dose of Merch’s vaccine into Thomas’s neck.  
  


Thomas’s eyes rolled back, his body started to seize up. Doc struggled to hold Thomas as the kid went through the seizure before Thomas slumped foreword.  
  


“Did it?” Warren started to ask. “Is 10k okay?”  
  


“He’s got a pulse,” Doc replied. “Come back to us 10k.” He kneeled in front of the chair.  
  


Said boy suddenly shot upward if it wasn’t for the restraints, he would have fallen to the floor. “Why do people keep stabbing me?” he asked.  
  


“10k you back with us?” Doc asked hesitantly.  
  


“No,” answered Thomas after a moment bypassing Doc to lock eyes with Warren. “There’s no going back anymore. 10k is gone.”  
  


“God dammit,” Doc cursed. “It worked before.”  
  


“His body could have created an immunity to the original vaccine after having it injected so many times, the effects lessening until they no longer work,” Sun Mei said, “Or Murphy’s control has gotten stronger?”  
  


“Now what?” Doc asked.  
  


“We take out the king,” Warren answered. “The group will hopefully fall without Murphy leading them, they won’t attack if we…”  
  


“You under estimate Murphy,” Thomas said. He looked sick, pale skin with black circles surrounding his eyes. He was smiling, finding amusement in his old group’s suffering. He barely resembled the 10k they once knew and cared for.  
  


“We shouldn’t discuss our plans of action in front of him,” Sun Mai suggested gathering up her supplies.  
  


“What? You think he can communicate with Murphy, like via mind link or something?” Doc asked before shrugging. “Honestly, I wouldn’t doubt it, being the apocalypse and all.”  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


He had gotten free by using Doc’s love of his former self to escape. Although there had been a slight hiccup of unwanted feelings concerning Doc but Thomas had been able to push that distraction aside.  
  


_You’re close, just keeping running forward, we’ll reach you, and we’ll be together again. Don’t worry about the humans._   
  


_‘Okay. I wasn’t.’_   
  


“10k! Come back! God dammit kid!” Thomas could hear Doc’s voice from behind him, seemingly bouncing off the trees. “You don’t need Murphy…”  
  


_What does Doc even know? He’s foolish. He doesn’t even really know you, does he? He’s trying to take you away from your people, trying to ruin all the good you’ve built._   
  


Thomas continued to run. _‘Even if I wanted to stay…’_  
  


_Which you don’t_   
  


_‘They would never trust us.’_   
  


_Lock you away, throw away the key, maybe even use us for some experiment… for the greater good._   
  


_‘Probably best not to find out.’_   
  


Slowly Doc’s protests lessened to just whispers in the wind as Thomas was able to put more distance between them. Thomas could feel he was getting closer to his people, he had to get back. They had planning to do.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


Doc walked out of the trees with an obvious slump in his shoulders back towards their hide out at the abandoned factory.  
  


“Where’s 10k, Doc?” Sun Mei asked.  
  


“He’s gone. Ran right back to Murphy,” replied Doc.  
  


“We’ll need to move. There’s no doubt Murphy now knows where we are,” Warren said. “It will be okay Doc. It’s not over yet.” She placed a hand on Doc’s shoulder. “Can’t give up now.”  
  


“It’s like he wasn’t even the kid anymore. Worse than Cassandra,” Doc said.  
  


“I know.”  
  



	8. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghosts can be a real pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... should I go happy ending or not so happy ending?  
> Let me know your thoughts.  
> Enjoy!

The stupid engineer was dead. He got himself killed, how was he so different? This man was so stupid and foolish from the rest of the flock. He couldn’t complete his orders, his mission. He failed Murphy, failed everyone.  
  


_There is no time for moping. We have to move._   
  


The Z’s were swarming, suddenly interested in eating Thomas. _‘Screw you Doc and Merch’s vials.’_  
  


_It just needs time to wear off. We need to leave and get back to the compound._   
  


Red appeared some feet away from him with 5K in tow, killing the Zs.  
  


_‘Hallucinations?’_ he thought. _‘Fuck Merch’s vials!’_ He pushed past Red ignoring the feelings threatening to bubble up and overwhelm him. Red attempted to talk with him. But Thomas didn’t have time.  
  


_Thomas._   
  


Murphy needed him.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


Why couldn’t people just listen? This thought swirled around his head. Doc wouldn’t listen, that stupid engineer and now Sun Mei. She wanted the vaccine Murphy had created, wanted his research. She wanted Thomas to be the one to open the safe.  
  


_She’s just a sheep in Warren’s group I’m sure._   
  


It would be so easy to just shoot her, end this standoff. Time was precious and he was wanted at Murphy’s side, everyone needed him and Sun Mei was in the way.  
  


“10k! Please help us stop this,” Sun Mei tried to reason. “What’s the safe’s password? Please, I can help you.”  
  


_If Doc couldn’t change our mind? Where does she get the idea, that she’d have any chance to do so?_   
  


“You’re not supposed to be in here,” Thomas explained. “Murphy doesn’t want you here.”  
  


“10k!” Red appeared at the doorway, 5k trailing behind her. She looked at the scene before her worry etched into her face.  
  


This was new; his hallucinations were getting different, more tangible in nature. _‘Fuckin’ injections…’_ Now there were two threats, Sun Mei and his mind.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


Sun Mei could see Red. “You see her?” Thomas asked gesturing to Red with his gun.  
  


Sun Mei has nodded. “Can you tell us the password?”  
  


Red was real.  
  


5k was real.  
  


This was… confusing.  
  


_It doesn’t matter!_   
  


_Where has she been all this time? Why appear now after all this time? Things aren’t adding up. How did Red know exactly where you were? Better not to risk what we have._   
  


“10k.” Red moved closer, invading his personal space. She reached out to cup his cheek. “I’m real.”  
  


_She wants to kiss you, the supposed dead girl is trying to distract you._   
  


He wanted to kiss her. He had missed her dearly. He felt responsible for Red and 5k’s deaths… But…  
  


What would happen later?  
  


_Put a stop to it._   
  


Thomas grabbed her hand stopping her. She was still as the two stared into each other’s eyes. Thomas broke the connection as he pushed her away, towards Sun Mei.  
  


“No.”  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


The Red Hand was dead, members slaughtered by the blends and Zs. Thomas could feel happiness radiating through the shared connection. They had won this battle.  
  


_It’s a game._   
  


Murphy hadn’t killed off anyone from their old group yet. But any surviving members of the Red Hand were executed and added to the mote if any had lived through the previous battle.  
  


They had tortured one of Murphy’s blends, so no mercy was given.  
  


Murphy had an old-school movie dungeon down pat with stone walls, bars and even chains hanging from the walls. Their old group wouldn’t take the vaccine, refused to join the new world. Murphy wouldn’t turn anyone unless they consented.  
  


_‘Except me…’_   
  


_You were dying, different situation, a special exception to the rule._   
  


Thomas thought back to Red. He wanted to know how she survived. Wished to know where she had been all this time.  
  


_Why does it matter? Those are 10ks worries, not your own._   
  


“I want to see Red,” Thomas asked Murphy. They were back in the room. Thomas eyed the marks left in the table, done by him with that knife.  
  


“No.”  
  


“I want to,” Thomas pushed the demand. “I have questions.”  
  


Murphy sighed. “The answers you would get are meaningless. It won’t change the situation. Do you want things to change?”  
  


“No,” Thomas answered frustrated. “Just want answers… I’m curious-“  
  


“Thomas,” Murphy silenced him. “This curiosity needs to end. My answer is no. Stay away from the lower levels, go find Seth and Elie. There are in the guard tower.”  
  


Thomas was annoyed. He wanted answers, but he couldn’t disobey. He knew he shouldn’t question Murphy and he wished that part of him would stop nagging him to go down to the cells. Murphy was right. He needed to stop.  
  


_She still left you. The answers would be pointless_   
  


_‘She left for 5k.’_   
  


_Even still, why wait all this time to find you? Why come now at this specific point?_   
  


Thomas shook his head and made his way towards the guard tower to meet up with Seth and Elie to get his mind off of Red and those past loved ones below the floor his feet walked on.  
  


x-X-x-X-x  
  


“You were missed,” Is the first thing Elie told him.  
  


“Worried about me?” Thomas asked with a smile forming on his face.  
  


“Yes,” she said.  
  


“She was,” Seth said. “Knew you’d give those freaks the slip. I wonder when Murphy will just kill ‘em already.”  
  


Thomas felt his heart clench. _‘Stupid feelings.’_  
  


“Who knows,” Elie said. “The game would be over if they were killed while captured. An empty win.” Elie made eye contact with Seth. A grin broke out across his face.  
  


“You thinking?”  
  


She nodded.  
  


“Wanna share?” Thomas asked.  
  


Seth giggled, actually giggled. “Elie thinks we should let ‘em loose in the woods and play a game of cat and mouse with the humans.”  
  



End file.
